February 04, 2009

SNAKES AND SNAILS

by Deeanne Gist

There is something special about little boys and I love including them in my books. They are just such deliciously awful little scoundrels. I recently ran across a book called Up To No Good in which a collection of perfectly respectable men reminisced about some of their boyhood escapades.

One man recalled his grandmother offering to pay him a dollar for every crow he could kill. (Their cawing was disturbing her afternoon naps.) After hours of unsuccessful attempts, he finally managed to fell one with his pellet gun. And sure enough, his grandmother paid him a dollar.

Thing was, he knew he’d never manage to kill another. So, the next day, he fished the dead crow out of the garbage, showed it again to his grandmother and earned himself another dollar. This went on for a week until that old crow smelled so bad that his grandmother figured it out.

He earned a lecture, but according to the culprit, Grandma had a twinkle in her eye and didn’t ask for her money back. Ha!

Another boy tells about the time they had to dissect fetal pigs in biology class. He and his buddies absconded with the snout of a pig and wedged it onto the water fountain. When someone pushed the button, the water would shoot up out of the pig’s nostrils. Problem was, the thirsty student wouldn’t see the snout until they’d bent over, open-mouthed, for a drink. LOL. Is that just the grossest thing?

Another one that always gives me a chuckle is the group of boys who sat in a circle and spit at the ceiling. The object was to get their spit to stick up there, but of course, more often than not, it didn’t--which meant their spit landed on somebody else in the circle.

There was one fella, though, who was evidently quite the expert. He could make his spit stick every time. It would dangle up there for a good while until gravity had its way with it. Then, he’d open wide, catch, swallow and recycle. Ewwwwww!

I bought the book for “research purposes” but most of the anecdotes were so awful that I’m pretty sure my publisher wouldn’t let me incorporate any of them into my novels. Still, it’s always good to study your subjects. J

So, what about you? You have any little fellas in your past or present that do rascally things?


www.deeannegist.com

7 comments:

Kim Vogel Sawyer said...

My oldest grandson can't resist a button or pull lever of any kind. When his baby cousin was born, he spotted a big red button near the hospital doors. He sneaked over and gave that enticing button a surreptitious push. The alarm nearly scared the hair off of his head! It cured him of button-pushing...if they are big and red. Every other button/lever is still fair game. :o)

angela said...

My son got a bloody nose and a goose egg on his head during recess yesterday. That's just an every day occurance for him, though. I used to volunteer for recess duty, and I remember one time he and a friend intentionally covered themselves in mud because "real cowboys get dirty."

I love the little boys in your stories, Dee. Keep up your research.

Anonymous said...

I liked Jeremy in Courting Trouble. I am currently reading Deep in the Heart and I can't wait for your next book in June--I already have on hold at my library!!

Marta said...

my classic little boy story has to be when my son made numchuks for all the other neighborhood kids. This was during the Ninja Turtles phase....the only problem was he made them out of pink playtex tampons....tied the strings together...I had 6 little boys in my yard playing with tampons....definitely a classic


http://martasmeanderings.blogspot.com

Deeanne Gist said...

LOL, girls! That's awesome! I'm tellin' ya, little boys are just the best! (I laughed and laughed, Marta.)

Deeanne Gist said...

LOL, girls! That's awesome! Are little boys just the greatest? (I laughed and laughed, Marta!)

Vickie McDonough said...

I'm the mom of four boys. Oi! Could I tell you stories--about the time #1 son set the bathroom curtains on fire. Or when I found my four-year-old #2 son running around in the backyard butt naked with a neighbor boy--and they had ropes hanging from their behinds. I asked W.H.A.T. are you doing, and my son smiled so innocently and said, "We're ponies, Mommy." PTL for privacy fences!!